The Daily Marmoset

Your Favorite Destination on the "Next Blog" Superhighway.

Monday, July 31, 2006

At Long Last, A Response to a Challenge

Some time ago, Skippy posed the following challenge:

Since Rocky's boxing record is, by my count, around 675-2-0, and since he did singlehandedly win the Cold War, can he really still be "the greatest underdog story of our time", as the trailer claims?

I apologize for the tardiness of this reply, but I feel that it will compensate in gravitas.

In short: Yes.

Despite Skippy's mockery, we in the history profession have increasingly lent credence to the "Balboan metanarrative," or the use of the "greatest underdog story of our time" as a framework for understanding the history of the United States. It's all there: immigrant history. Class. Race. Foreign policy. Economic ups and downs. After hardship, loves, hates, and countless challenges, Rocky (like an ascendant United States) discovers that the only challenge greater than reaching the top, is that of staying at the top.

Little seems to commend the young Balboa. An Italian-American of modest means, given to personal advancement through favors for a loan shark, scraping by day-to-day life, nothing separates Rocky from the other denizens of the Hobbesean state of nature. Nothing, that is, but a dream. (See Nancy Mitchell, The Danger of Dreams: German and American Imperialism in Latin America, 1999.)

Indeed, the young boxer claws his way upwards, using whatever means at his disposal. His boxing match against Spider Rico takes place in a parish hall, a testament to his Christian roots. He trains by boxing meat, transforming nature itself into the material of advancement, akin to the Midwest described in William Cronon's Nature's Metropolis (1991). The young Balboa holds his own against a stronger adversary, Apollo. (One will note that Apollo's name links him to the Greeks, the foundational culture of EUROPE.) After meeting Apollo in battle a second time, and trading blows (note: TRADING blows), Balboa emerges victorious, and the two ultimately find the path to friendship and goodwill.

At the pinnacle of his career (Rocky 3), Balboa discovers that, while triumph over individual adversaries is all too easy (see Michael Sherry, In the Shadow of War, 1995), the greatest challenge comes from within. "For the first time in my life," he explains to Adrian, "I'm scared." The loss of trainer Micky Goldmill (whose name clearly indicates the abandonment of the Gold standard) means a period of uncertainty for the future. (It is also worth noting that Adrian, played by Talia SHIRE, serves as a symbol of "home," just as Tolkien's Hobbits seek to return to the SHIRE, and just as an increasingly commercialized America pines for the Jeffersonian yeoman tradition). Still, Rocky trudges forth against uncertainty, and against an opponent, Clubber Lang, whose hometown of Chicago, the "heartland," indicates that the real threat is from within Rocky himself.

Rocky IV is rather straightforward. Rocky sees Apollo (remember, EUROPE) ravaged by an opponent who has been enhanced through command biology (the Soviet command economy). Still, after returning to a workout in a settling not unlike that of Valley Forge, Balboa trounces this enemy at some personal cost, a theme to be taken up shortly. But just as Drago has beaten Rocky into physical impediment, so Rocky has beaten Drago, indeed, democratic. "Everybody can change," utters Rocky into the microphone (perhaps a RADIO FREE EUROPE microphone?), and the viewer sees Drago pausing to listen.

But this episode leaves Rocky in the throes of physical degradation (deindustrialization), scraping by in a Philadephia that is undergoing a similar downturn. In this post-Cold War scenario, Balboa is left to contend with the demon he created in the form of Tommy Gun. (Forced to reckon with the proliferation of arms in third world countries.) He has ultimately to defeat this enemy in an unconventional battle, on the streets rather than in a designated field of battle.

Which brings us, finally, to the sixth film. In fighting Mason "The Line" Dixon, Balboa is forced once again to look within, and to face the challenge of racial division. While the internal battle is new, the problem of fighting one is not. Indeed, with each triumph, Balboa has seen a new challenge spring forth, in a perfect display of the Hegelian dialectic. It is this ongoing process of renewal and the perpetual need to surmount challenges, both within and without, that makes the life of Balboa, like the life of the world's greatest superpower, that of an underdog.

THANK YOU

Friday, July 28, 2006

Blasts from the Past

Frau and I Netflixed "The Adventures of Pete & Pete" last night. How is it possible for a show that ran on Nickelodeon thirteen years ago (and that stared as a series of commercials) to be funnier, cooler and vastly more original than anything on TV now?

(Good God, has it actually been thirteen years?!?!)

A few of my favorite lines:
  • "Does this guy pick your scabs the way he's picking mine?"
  • "Sleep is for the puny."
  • "You don't take history. It takes you."
Speaking of fond memories from the early 90s, I may not have the highest of hopes for the Transformers, but this is another story entirely.

According to Internet rumor and judging by the trailer, the new TMNT movie will be much more like the original, Marvel-parodying comics of the early 80s than the subsequent cartoons. That means more violence and extra-badass ninjas, but it also means plenty of humor, though it will be of a more subtle variety. In other words, jokes that don't revolve around pizza, Turtle Wax, and surfer lingo. Glory, glory Hallelujah.

One final note: Since he has recently joined the rebellion against Big Brother, I just found the Marmoset's Christmas present.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

This town does love its weird crap

(Note: Before you do anything else, go see the newest Office web video, Stanley. The rest of this crap can wait.)

An article in today's Post-Dispatch caught my attention: Washers Score for Warm Days.

It talks about the history and ever-growing popularity of Washers, or Indeho as we used to call it (as in "It's indeho! I seen it!"), the official sport of drunken hoosiers. It also mentions no less than seven upcoming tournaments or ongoing leagues in the St. Louis area.

This reminds me of a topic I'd planned to write about some time ago, that St. Louis will soon to the Horseshoe Hall of Fame. Championship-level horsehoe skills are a family gene that Marmoset and I apparently missed out on, but who doesn't love horsehoes? To quote the National Horsehoe Pitchers Association, "What better way to exercise than walking, bending and reaching?" Right on.
The guy on their logo seems a little thin around the middle to be a real Horseshoe player, but whatever...
If only they weren't putting it way out in Wentzville; it belongs closer to such great St. Louis institutions as the International Bowling Hall of Fame, the National Museum of Transportation, the National Museum of the Dog, and the late, lamented National Coin-Op Museum.

Yes, those are all real places in STL. I love this town.

(Note: The Dog Museum is a lot of fun, but only if you bring Buck Laughlin.)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

In Praise of YouTube and Bad TV News, part II

Two more pieces of digital fun for those who have nothing better to do.

1. If only he looked like he was too young to drive, this guy would be a great Mid-MO weatherman:



2. One of the happiest moments of my life was watching Fox News the night Shepard Smith screwed up this report.

Speaking of which, check out The Amazing Screw-On Head at the Sci-Fi Channel. It's a pilot for a new animated show, and if enough people like it they're going to make it a regular series. It's pretty funny, and let's face it, they could use something other than their usual horror movie crap-a-thon. Their pilots for Screw-On Head and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (which is also online) almost make me miss having cable. Almost.

But I'll never forgive the Sci-Fi Channel, though, for giving up on SciFiction.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

P.S.

For anyone who doesn't know why I was without power, and why large chunks of St. Louis are still without power after 5 1/2 days, click here.

In Praise of YouTube and Bad TV News

The electricity has come back to my house, and an entirely new respect for refrigerators and light bulbs has come with it. Remind me to send Thomas Edison a Christmas card this year.

The Marmoset is visiting STL for a few days, and last night we spend some family time with a YouTube mini-marathon. The glories of web videos are endless.

As a special gift to the Frau - and any other survivors of the wonderdul world of Mid-MO television, I offer the following:


NOTE: be sure to wait for the witty banter at the end.

Huh huh huh, he said Dong.

The silver medal has to go to the clip entitled "What Camera?" (If I had a dollar for every time I've seen something on KOMU that would fit that title...)

Hey, it's not BubbRubb, but I sure enjoyed it. Special thanks to Youtube member bmhcmc, who has created a whole channel of KOMU-related goodies.

As a friend of mine used to say, "it might look like the news, and it might sound like the news, but it's really just some guy's homework."

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Webcomics and other nerd stuff

It's nice to have the Frau back in town. Especially when she comes bearing such awesome gifts.

In other news, I see, according to the always interesting Penny Arcade, that I'm not alone in my concerns about the Transofrmers movie. It should be interesting to see how things turn out.

Also, bonus points to the excellent (but far less popular) webcomic Unshelved. It's written by and for librarians, but trust me, it's funnier than it sounds. Anyway, their Sunday strip always features a book recommended by one of the characters. In his most recent book talk, Dewey profiled the very funny Agent to the Stars by John Scalzi, which is available online for free, including a picture of its cover art by none other than Mike (Gabe) Krahulik of Penny Arcade. (Small world, ain't it?)


Dewey's taste in books, especially comics, is flawless as always. Well, come to think of it, flawless except for one glaring exception.

FUN FACT: John Scalzi wrote Agent to the Stars as a "practice novel" and published it online. The practice and good feedback helped him with his second novel, Old Man's War, which was just nominated for the highest award in science fiction, a Hugo Award. Good luck to him; I loved his first book and am looking forward to reading the second.

That's all I've got, so I will now sit back and anxiously await the Marmoset's long-awaited return.

Friday, July 14, 2006

While the Frau is away...

As I mentioned before, Frau Skippy, aka my lovely wife, has been out of town all week. Having the house (not to mention the Netflix queue) all to myself has made this a very educational time for me. And so, I proudly present...

Things I've learned while Frau was out of town
(in more or less chronological order):

  • My cooking has not improved since my bachelor days.
  • The Dead Pool includes a scene of Jim Carrey playing Axl Rose playing a satanic priest. Dirty Harry movies rule.
  • Final Fantasy VII has not lost any of its addictive properties. Squaresoft owes me yet another two days of my life.
  • Netflix is my best friend, as will become apparent as you read on.
  • Kill Bill Part 2 is, surprisingly, not quite as gruesome as the first one, though I really could have done without The Eyeball Scene. Eew.
  • On a closely related note, Daryl Hannah doesn't die in enough movies.
  • The Punisher probably shouldn't let people know where he lives.
  • Come to think of it, the Punisher shouldn't let people know that he lives. When the bad guys think you're dead, live television is not your friend.
  • Personally, I liked the Punisher a lot better when he just wanted his kids back.
  • Neither Kill Bill nor the Punisher is an especially great movie, but together they make a pretty kickass Sunday afternoon.
  • The most important thing I learned on Sunday: never do anything bad, or you will die in a very messy and unusual way.
  • Sometimes models are more fun when pieces are missing.
  • the inventor of Gorilla Glue is a freaking genius.
  • If it weren't for reruns of Cops and MASH, cable TV would have about four channels, and my parents wouldn't watch any of them.
  • Dateline NBC should really just change its name to Don't Use the Internet.
  • Final Fantasy: Advent Children has shaken my belief that it's impossible to make a good movie based on a video game. While I can't call it a good movie exactly, I really did enjoy it, and everything in it looks awesome. Unfortunately, I personally only know two, maybe three people nerd enough to agree with me.
  • Wow, and I thought Cait Sith was annoying before he had a horrendously fake-sounding Scottish accent.
(NOTE: For those unfamiliar with Final Fantasy, Cait Sith is a talking cat in a gold crown and combat boots who uses a magic megaphone to make stuffed animals do his fighting for him. See, you're annoyed already, aren't you?)
  • -- Sartre was wrong. Hell is a committee.
  • -- The years have not been especially kind to G.I. Joe.
  • -- When an 80's cartoon show uses a rainbow of ethnic stereotypes, including Japanese, Native American, and German (?), but apparently can't remember which is which, the end result is more sad than funny.
  • -- Without the Frau, my life is phenomemally boring.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I love the Web

For work purposes (seriously, it was!), I have spent much of the last week digging around on the Web looking at digital videos online. Hence the other day's Rocky post.

Today, I found two more nuggets that I thought I'd share with the group.

First is the website of the American version of The Office, the show that makes awkward silence into an art form. Of special interest are the fake public service announcements by the Office characters and the weekly series of web-only mini episodes featuring the accounting staff. I always thought Kevin needed more time to shine.

Warning: if you spend any time on the Office site, I hope you like Kinko's commercials.

Second is the trailer for the Transformers movie, due out next July. While, like I am a product of the 80s, and Optimus Prime was a childhood hero second only to Voltron, I can't feel as excited about this as I would expect. 3 or 4 TV versions have come and gone since the original show of the mid-80s, and each was absolute and total crap. I have a sinking feeling that this won't be a whole lot better. And while my love of the Transformers doesn't quite reach unhealthy levels, a quick Google search shows lots and lots of people who take it disturbingly seriously. * I don't see them being too pleased with an Optimus Prime made by Michael Bay, the guy who turned Pearl Harbor into a love story, either.

* Not that I have the right to judge. Some 20 years after Santa left it under my tree, Voltron still occupies a place of honor in my home.

Hail to the King, baby.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Insert "Beach Hug" joke here

(NOTE: For more information, see our previous posts from October 2005 on this same topic.)

A trailer for Rocky Balboa, the sixth film about America's favorite human punching bag, has been put online.

Somewhere in central Ohio, the Marmoset has again soiled himself from sheer happiness.


above: Sylvester Stallone beats on an opponent young enough to be his grandson.

It does raise a question for me, though: Since Rocky's boxing record is, by my count, around 675-2-0, and since he did singlehandedly win the Cold War, can he really still be "the greatest underdog story of our time", as the trailer claims? And if so, how much longer could such be the case?

And so, in the spirit of Rocky challenging anything that moves, here's a challenge of my own: I expect a response to the above question from the Marmoset (and/or his colleagues), preferably couched in full academic regalia, within one week.

He's not that cool, is he?

I have always been a big fan of Bill McClellan. (For those who don't know why, try reading this week's column, for instance.)

But I've noticed a few bits of graffiti around town that make me think some people have taken their admiration a bit too far.

Monday, July 10, 2006

How long, how long must we sing this song?

The following is posted here on behalf of the Marmoset, who currently has other things on his mind. I'm sure he'd want you all to see it, assuming you haven't already.

Just because he never posts, please don't get the impression that Marmoset is a lazy bastard. He's not lazy. Generally useless and foul-smelling, perhaps, but not lazy.



In other news, mein Frau is out of town for the week. She is out west, helping her lovely sister move into her new home, where she will be a stranger in a strange land. Well, one of them, anyway...

Stay tuned for more updates on my adventures as a (temporarily) swinging bachelor.