In the interest of breaking the three-month silence (I fear my absentee status has demoralized Herr Skippy), here's a handful of potential ways to entertain oneself this October:
- Go to a "haunted house." They can be expensive, but if you're strapped for cash, just hang out in the line outside for a few hours. You'll get much the same effect mingling with the typical haunted-house-goers. (I say this as a lifelong haunted-house-goer).
- Start a candidacy for President. It seems like the newest craze for those with nothing better to do career-wise. And the upside is, you're already ahead of Ron Paul in the polls.
- Create a gasoline storage dump in your yard. Sure, it will be expensive to buy and haul hundreds of gallons of gas, and to construct an underground storage facility, but you'll thank yourself in 5 years when gas is $1000 a barrel. (Note to the SUV driver: ignore this one. The $1000 a barrel is your fault, and the storage dump would only last you a few days, anyway.)
- Go see "Shoot 'Em Up." If I were Clive Owen or Paul Giamatti, I wouldn't plan on any Oscar nods, but the movie is an excellent way to kill an hour and a half through mild amusement.
And my personal favorite:
- Get a few friends together and conquer the National League Central Division.
Thank you. Thank you. No, really. Thank you.
