The Daily Marmoset

Your Favorite Destination on the "Next Blog" Superhighway.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

cleaning my bookmarks file

I've been busy the last two weeks. Too busy to post anything, but not too busy to collect fodder for future posts. So here, in no particular order, is a bunch of random stuff I thought was interesting:
  • Scientists are lobbying NASA for a more detailed exploration of Europa, since they claim it is the place where we're most likely to find extraterrestrial life. Fifty bonus points are hereby awarded to Sir Arthur C. Clarke, for once again being at least 25 years ahead of the curve.
  • The Post-Dispatch last week continued a time-honored tradition by running its 7th Annual Rick Ankiel's Big Comeback article. I was actually there for Game 1 of the 2000 NL Division Series, when Ankiel dazzled the crowd with the single worst pitching performance in the history of professional baseball. Five wild pitches in one inning and my Dad nearly got us all killed by being the world's only John Rocker fan. Now that was a game.
  • Do you know where you'll be on April 13? I do: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.
  • Here, strictly for the amusement of the Frau, is 10 Years of Friends in 90 Seconds.
  • Failed Success is an interesting (and apparently St. Louis based) website that I stumbled across. Their stories are pretty entertaining, but frankly I wouldn't put much faith in them. For example, I'm pretty sure that Marquette and Joliet never fought an epic battle against the dark forces of the Piasa Bird.

  • This was weirdly impressive. Big shout out to Inspector Gadget.
  • I can't think of anyone more qualified than the Barenaked Ladies for the task of writing a Youtube National Anthem.
  • And now, a link that needs no introduction, the Simpsons Movie trailer.
  • They say that explaining a joke makes it less funny. But a rare exception to that rule is That's What She Said, a running commentary on Michael Scott's misadventures and the astronomical legal fees that would follow them in real life.
  • Speaking of humorous commentary on TV shows I love, check out the review of the new hit series "Zeroes".
  • Mein Frau may or may not be interested to know that the trailer for the Nanny Diaries is online.
  • In a bizarre twist, monkeys have joined the cosmic arms race. According to the Washington Post, For First Time, Chimps Seen Making Weapons for Hunting. Terrific. Now we have to worry about robots, chimps, and each other.
  • As a young Skippy, I always loved the prairie dogs at the zoo. They seemed to have much more interesting lives than the rest of the animals. I had no idea.
  • We all saw the Oscars the other night. Yippee. The big news is that the Razzie Awards have been announced. Congrats to Sharon Stone and the Wayanses, as usual. And shame on M. Night Shyamalan.
  • In the ironic twist of the decade, Ancestry.com decided to highlight their new collection of African-American genealogy materials by researching the family history of Rev. Al Sharpton. They found that his great grandfather, Coleman Sharpton, was a slave who once belonged to the Thurmond family of South Carolina. Yes, as in Strom Thurmond. Sharpton now wants DNA tests to see if he and Sen. Thurmond, the Dixiecrat party godfather who once gave a record breaking 23-hour filibuster in opposition of the Civil Rights Act, are related.
Wow. I'll bet you think I can't top that Strom Thurmond thing. Guess again:
  • A group of Seventh Day Adventist fundamentalist nutcases known as World's Last Chance have announced that they know the identity of who will be the next (and apparently final) Pope. The answer: Pope John Paul II. That's right, in spite of the fact he died almost 2 years ago, he will apparently be re-elected in the near future. Well, actually it will be a demon disguised as a freshly-resurrected John Paul, but close enough. How did they figure this out? By using a highly creative interpretation of both Revelations and the 1929 Lateran Treaty that created the modern Vatican state. Of course, we could mention that the Papal States were originally founded by Gregory I in the 5th Century, and so by their logic the Antichrist is about 1,400 years overdue. But obviously put a lot of thought into this, and made a nifty video and everything, so I guess we'll let it slide.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Why we fight

I would like to take a moment to thank Youtube and a new rock band called Maldroid for thier call to arms against two of the greatest evils facing our world: Techno music and robots who like Techno.



Also, of special interest to mein Frau might be their Aha-esque video "He Said, She Said".

Gotta go.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What is wrong with you people?

When I wrote last month about my illegal, Tony Montana-esque dealings with corrupt Third World officials, it should have been clear to you, Dear Reader, that I am not a smart man. That was a bad, bad idea, and shame on you if I have to explain why.

I really didn't think anyone in the world would be foolish enough to follow my example. But then again, I'm an idiot, so what do I know?

When reading the paper this morning, I came across the following article from the Detroit Free Press: Nigerian Scam takes town's money, trust. It seems that Mr. Thomas Katona of Harrisville, MI, was completely cleaned out by his Nigerian associates. While this is terrible in itself, it is made worse by the fact that Katona is the Harrisville city treasurer, and he allegedly stole about $1.2 million from the city's coffers so he could give it to the con artists. Much of this money was sent after Katona's bank repeatedly warned him that this was a scam.

Normally I might feel more sympathy for the good people of Harrisville, but Katona plead guilty to two job-related felonies in 1998. He's been re-elected twice since then.

Before I could recover from the staggering stupidity of this whole thing, I moved on to the next article: Astronaut to face attempted murder count. Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak, a real-life astronaut who flew into space last year, drove 900 miles to attack a woman in a parking lot with pepper spray and a BB gun. She did this with the intention of kidnapping and killing the woman because they apparently were both interested in the same man.
ABOVE: It seems she's used to bright orange
suits. That will be helpful where she's going.

As I usually do when confronted with massive outbursts of strangeness in the world, I went straight to the source, where I found this. And this. Then, just a minute ago, I clicked over to Yahoo news and found out that a Chewbacca impersonator in Hollywood has been arrested for shouting "Nobody tells this Wookiee what to do" as he head-butted a tour guide.

It's now official: the end is near.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Feel the terror

I have only one thing to say:

If the Mooninites are wrong, I don't want to be right.



For further details, I turn you over to Zebro, aka four potheads in Boston. That is all.