Today, July 20, is one of the most important days on my Fake Holiday calendar, for a number of reasons.
It's been mentioned once or twice in the news recently that the first Moon landing was 40 years ago today. We at the Daily Marmoset most proudly honor astronauts Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins on the anniversary of their achivement, a true high point in human history:
And, on a personal note, special thanks to Col. Aldrin. Youtube just wouldn't be the same without him.
But that's not all, folks. This is a busy day in history:
65 years ago today, some of Hitler's own people came extremely close to killing him with a briefcase full of explosives.
86 years ago today, Pancho Villa, the legendary Mexican revolutionary, was killed in an ambush. According to legend, his last words were "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
36 years ago today, Bruce Lee died of an unclear medical condition, possibly an allergic reaction to medicine.
To honor all these remarkable events, I leave you with Bruce Lee doing what he did best: tearing Chuck Norris a new one.
Book carts: they're not just for pimping anymore* (Friday WTF)
There's a stereotype that "librarians are boring". And I think they want to change that stereotype to "librarians are crazy." --Children's author / book cart drill team color commentator Mo Willems
Last week was the American Library Association's annual conference. Besides all the speakers, vendors, and other standard conferencey stuff, everyone really just goes to ALA for the annual Library Book Cart Drill Team Championship.
A lot of hard work and determination goes into this competition. No matter who takes home the coveted Gold Book Cart (yes, that's right), all these librarians clearly have the Eye of the Tiger. A hilariously weird and nerdy tiger, maybe, but a tiger all the same.
For your Friday WTF, here's a little taste:
*EDITOR'S NOTE: If you were wondering about the title of this post, click here.
In honor of tonight's All-Star Game, the first to be held in the great city of St. Louis in over 40 years, the Post-Dispatch last week had a Shannonisms quiz. I only got a shameful 13 out of 20.
For those of you who don't follow St. Louis baseball, a Shannonism is a, well, unusual quote from beloved Cardinals broadcaster Mike Shannon.
Say what you will about Mike Shannon (and certain Cards fans have a LOT to say about him), but he keeps things interesting.
A few classic Shannonisms that didn't make it into the quiz:
[while broadcasting a Cards game in New York during a full moon]"I wish you folks back in St. Louis could see this moon."
"He's faster than a chicken being chased by Ronald McDonald!"
"He's faster than a cat in Chinatown."
"I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't believed it."
[on Mike Schmidt] "the longtime, and soon-to-be, Hall-of-Famer."
“He's madder than a pig caught under a barnyard gate.”
"He tried to sneak that fastball by Rolen. That's like trying to sneak the sun past the rooster."
"... and I never once stopped to thank her." --W.C. Fields
In truth-is-stranger-than-fiction news, an Ohio man was recently arrested for drunk driving. This would not be especially newsworthy, except he was driving a motorized bar stool.
Shame on me for missing the always awesome Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest last week. This, of course, is the contest that "honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton", the guy who actually did start a novel with "It was a dark and stormy night".
The rules of the contest are simple: Just come up with the worst possible opening sentence for a novel. This years winner was David McKenzie of Federal Way, WA...
"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."
Sometimes, people are horrified to learn that libraries, from time to time, get rid of books. There's a highly entertaining blog that demonstrates why:
This blog highlights some selections from public libraries that must REALLY need some weeding. My personal favorite, I think, is their most recent post: Clothes for Disabled People.
In other library news, there's a new low-budget alternative to buying a fancy new e-book reader: the Amazon Kindling.
OK, so maybe there was an even more famous person who died last week. I still had to give my shout out to Ed. Anyway, I've never been a particularly big fan of Michael Jackson, but I've done tributes to less deserving people, so your Friday WTF video this week is the greatest tribute that anyone has ever given to Michael Jackson:
God bless Weird Al. If you'd like to compare and contrast, below is the original, which I'd forgotten is actually 16 minutes long. That's when a video was a video. Anyway, if you're in a hurry the relevant part starts around 7:30, and the world's least threatening street gang (okay, maybe not THE least threatening) shows up at 8:45.
BONUS VIDEO: Way, way back in 1991, Michael Jackson did one of the first (and all-time greatest) celebrity guest appearances on the Simpsons. He played a creepy white guy who sounds like Michael Jackson. It must have been a terrible stretch for him.
