Is that a sword, or are you just happy to see me?

EDITOR'S NOTE: As a special treat for our devoted readers, today we have a guest column by the one and only Frau Skippy.

I can neither confirm nor deny the details of her story, but I will say this: Our society tells us that carrying a sword is ridiculous, and sometimes our society is just plain wrong.

Take it away, Frau...

On April Fool’s Day, 2006, I had the honor of accompanying my lovely, and I do mean lovely husband, a.k.a. Skippy Marmoset, to his induction to become a Fourth Degree Knight of Columbus. Now this honor is usually dispersed to a much more, uh hum, mature group of men. However, my husband – a man of a younger, more delicate, and more politically correct generation – decided to join the fraternity of bad joke telling, feather wearing, sword baring, cape draped, drunken, dirty old men anyway. The only thing missing from this motley group are miniature cars – shout out to the Shriners.

Now, I’m not saying that being part of the Knights of Columbus is bad; their charity drives and attention to worthy causes help many in need. And believe you me they aren’t afraid to slur their views over a friendly day/night cap consisting of their third, fourth, tenth (who’s counting?) Jack and Coke. Nor are they afraid to compliment their lovely, lovely ladies, who seem to just get lovelier with every drink. Nonetheless, it’s very difficult to get over the fact that you’re around a bunch of men playing Spanish pirate and still holding on to the belief that Christopher Columbus was the first to discover the Americas.

Skippy claims to be part of the fresh, new class of Fourth Degree Knights, you know not just part of their grandfathers’ drinking buddies. And because of our trusting, newlywed, pure, almost nauseating trust and love, I want to believe that; I really do. However, the day he sports a feather-topped hat, a sword complete with scabbard, and a vampire cape, he will have Frau Skippy to reckon with!!!