This really sucks... YOUR BLOOD

Okay, bad title.

Anyway, in addition to conversing with Skippy over a long Thanksgiving weekend, I settled in to play an old favorite from the 8-bit Nintendo world, Castlevania. The protagonist of this Indiana Jones-meets-George Romero thriller wields a whip, which, for some reason, kills the undead. Is he a lion tamer? Are there strict gun- and sword-control laws in Transylvania? Who knows? But what is clear is that this has to be the HARDEST VIDEO GAME EVER DEVISED.

The first few levels go by quickly, until level 6, where bad guys come at you like junkies to Frosty the Crackman. If you do survive--and I only do about half the time--you fight the Grim Reaper, and his four reappearing, flying, flashing sickles of doom. If you're lucky, you get to fight him with a boomerang that, even in 8-bit graphics, looks like it was designed by Nerf.

I only got past him once, and was promptly pushed off a bridge by a giant bat about 10 times in a row. So if anyone out there can enlighten me as to what Dracula looks like, or if he's even
IN the damn game, I'm all ears.