Don't read this

This week is the American Library Association's 23rd annual Banned Books Week. Every year during the last week of September, the ALA reminds people about the dangers of censorship, and encourages everyone to read books that some people would rather destroy. In an age when world's largest country has "only 'healthy' news on the Web", it's always helpful to have a reminder of what censorship can lead to.

Because I'm such a helpful person, here are my top 10 suggestions (in no particular order) on how you can celebrate Banned Books Week:

• Go to the ALA's official Banned Books Week website to learn more. I especially liked the World War II era poster about Nazi book burning.
  
• Learn about the history of censorship and read some Banned Books Online at this excellent web exhibit, hosted by U. Penn's awesome Online Books Page.
  
• Read "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury. What could be more appropriate than a banned book about banning books?
• Read Aristophanes' Lysistrata, Chaucer's The Miller's Tale, or Voltaire's Candide. Realize that your ancestors were perverts.
  
• Read Fanny Hill by John Cleland, and marvel at the terrible glory of 18th Century porn.
• Let Harry Potter turn you to the dark side: go join a real Satanic cult, and see how many times you can use words like "Muggle" and "Death-Eater" before they kick the crap out of you. For bonus points, ask them to show you a Cruciatus Curse and see what happens.
• Read anything by James Joyce and see if you can figure out what the hell he's talking about.
  
• Find an online edition of Gray's Anatomy and skip ahead to the naughty bits.
• Find the people who put Where's Waldo at #88 (just below Howard Stern!) on the ALA's list of 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books. Laugh and poke them with a stick.
• Find the people who put Mark Twain, John Steinbeck, Madeline L'engle, Shel Silverstein, Aldous Huxley, Roald Dahl, and Harper Lee (among many, many others) on that same list. Feel a great swell of pity for them.