The Daily Marmoset

Your Favorite Destination on the "Next Blog" Superhighway.

Friday, August 29, 2008

God help us, every one (Friday WTF)

While we're being all political and stuff, I saw this video the other day, which should serve nicely as our Friday WTF:



I have a favor to ask. Could we, as a society, PLEASE leave "A Christmas Carol" alone for a while? I truly love that book (emphasis on book), but it is the single most beaten-to-death story in Western Civilization. It could really use a couple decades of rest, and besides, there is nobody really qualified to play Ebenezer Scrooge since George C. Scott died. (hoo)

While we're at it, Leslie Nielsen and "The Makers of Airplane" should probably be put to pasture as well. Seriously, it's for their own good.

Anyway, I also saw a pretty entertaining article this morning about "Movie Disasters: Historic Box Office Bombs". I'm hoping that "An American Carol" will be on the list next year.

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Not to pre-empt the Friday WTF, but...

Greatest... convention speech... ever. Barney Smith just made a career for himself.




(If you're in a hurry, skip to 1:30 and watch through the chanting)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Why Mommy and Daddy are dirty hippies

I'm way to busy to be doing this, but I found something that was too good to pass up. Earlier today while checking my email, I saw a banner ad for this:


It's a website selling two children's books entitled "Why Mommy/Daddy Is a Democrat". Some sample pages are available on their website. Here's my personal favorite:

ABOVE: Is it my imagination, or does the
"happy Earth" look a little like Al Franken?

Two comments I would like to pass on to the authors:
  • I appreciate the point you're trying to make, but I'm not sure that the government taking care of us "just like Mommy does" is the phrasing you really want to use. (But I do have to admit, the picture of "Mommy" protecting the children from the elephant was an inspired touch.)
  • If you really want to make an impression, it's time to go negative. Personally, I will happily pay $8 for a copy of "Why the School Bully Is a Republican".

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Eight Legged Freaks Is Right!

So I got to thinking about the movie "Charlotte's Web" today.

You've got Wilbur, a pig who wallows in self-pity, you've got some happy barnyard musical numbers, and you've got Charlotte, a spider who becomes the talk of the farm (and, later, the podunk town) because she writes stuff in her web. Wilbur idolizes Charlotte, and one gets the impression that, like a small child, he never leaves her alone. He's always looking up into the rafters, asking inane questions, making small talk. Charlotte is all too eager to oblige and settle his insecurities.

But I got to thinking about the fact that she's the only spider you see in the movie, and yet she produces an egg sac. As spiders are not asexual, she would thus have had to "come into contact" with a male spider at some point.

According to an eminently credible source, a male spider approaches the female and performs an elaborate dance to disarm her predatory instincts. In many species, the sexual encounter ends with the female killing and eating the male.

This means that, at some point, Charlotte was visited by a stranger to the barnyard who performed a mating ritual, and a few seconds later she most likely killed and ate him. All of this a few feet from a pig who never took his eyes off of Charlotte.


Go watch it again. I dare you.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Where are they? (Friday WTF)

For the record, The Dark Knight is one of the best movies I've seen in ages. Which makes this all the more amusing.

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Meet Emily, who doesn't exist (Friday WTF)

In a true WTF, this video shows us the amazing(ly creepy) power of technology:

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Friday, August 15, 2008

My cat can eat a whole watermelon (Friday WTF)

This Friday WTF, which truly lives up to its name, is brought to you by Frau Skippy, courtesy of one of her favorite movies.



Any questions? Please direct them to the Frau, or at least refer to the trailer.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Olympic Monkeys

Mein Frau is, to put it mildly, not a big sports fan. I know my love of the Olympics (like so many other things I do) perplexes her . At long last, I think I finally know how to explain it to her:



In case you're wondering what the hell just happened, apparently there's a famous Chinese novel called Journey to the West, about the travels of the Monkey King and his friends, Pigsy the Pig and a warrior-turned-demon named Sandy. And apparently the Gorillaz creators Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn were hired by the BBC to turn said novel into a 2-minute promo for the Beijing Olympics.

But all you really need to know is this simple formula:

Olympics + Kung fu + flying monkeys = too beautiful for words

Update: it seems that Albarn and Hewlett have also just written "Monkey", a full-length opera about the Monkey King, entirely in Chinese. That sounds more interesting than it probably should.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Goodbye, Children

First off, I just wanted to point out that Friday's post on the Rock-afire renaissance was followed, two days later, by this article in Wired news, which includes another trailer for the upcoming documentary. Just remember you heard it here first.

Much as I would love to crow about scooping Wired News, my heart really isn't in it since I learned that Isaac Hayes died yesterday at the age of 65. I was never a huge fan of Hayes, but he was certainly cool enough to deserve a brief tribute here.

As a producer at Stax Records, Isaac Hayes was one of the driving forces of soul music. His 1969 album "Hot Buttered Soul", besides having one of the all-time great titles, set the standard for 1970s R&B. But of course, no matter what Mr. Hayes will always be remembered for two monumental achievements:

1. Making a guy just walking down the street impossibly badass.


Daaaaamn right.

2. Being the greatest elementary-school cafeteria worker there ever was or ever will be.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Where a kid can be, um, at least 30 by now (Friday WTF)

Building on the momentum of the Marmoset's recent Let the Good Times Re-roll post, this (abnormally long) Friday WTF salutes another legendary band that has leapt from the shadows to secure their place in history: the Rock-afire Explosion.

Maybe you've never heard of them. Maybe, like me, you think you've never heard of them, since you almost certainly haven't heard that name in at least 20 years. Allow me to refresh your memory:

ABOVE: ring any bells?

That's right, the Rock-afire Explosion was the Showbiz Pizza house robo-band. After a decade of alternately entertaining and terrifying millions of children, they "broke up", for lack of a better term, when Showbiz was bought out by Chuck E. Cheese.

Now, thanks to Alabama car salesman Chris Thrash, the Rock-afire rides again. Mr. Thrash has re-constructed the act down to the last detail, and has been keeping the dream alive in his basement. Thanks to his efforts, along with the work of original creator Aaron Fetcher, Rock-afire Explosion: the Movie is coming soon to a theater near you.

Behold the trailer:



There are a lot of videos floating around Youtube of Thrash's band doing modern songs. Usher's "Love in This Club" is by far the most popular, with Shakira a distant second, but I think my personal favorite is "Conquest" by the White Stripes:



I don't know why, but it's oddly comforting that the white bear-thing with the crossed eyes still creeps the hell out of me.

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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Hero in a Half Shell

Maybe I should save this for Friday, but Frau just sent me a link to this, and I couldn't resist.


Saturday, August 02, 2008

Let the good times re-roll

So I had the pleasure of attending what I have elsewhere referred to as a "trifecta of has-beens." The headliners: Collective Soul, Blues Traveler, and Live. Thus, in one night, I and a few thousand of my dear friends were transported back to 1994 for a few glorious hours. In order to enable the dweller of the twenty-first century to appreciate the ups and downs of such a time warp, I offer a brief review.

BAND 1: COLLECTIVE SOUL

(Here they are, the boys in ... I guess mostly black.)

This was the one band in the 90s that I always wanted to see but never did. When they broke up, circa 1999, I thought that mine was a dead dream. But they re-formed, partially re-invented, and came back with a new series of albums. For the most part, they did not disappoint.

The "Soul," if you will, played a conservative game, relying heavily on their established hits and singles. Not too much diversion from what the average joe who paid $30 for a bit of nostalgia would expect to hear. In this, they were probably the most successful, with a large portion of the crowd singing along. Their stage presence was impressive, including Ed Roland's new penchant for throwing the microphone stand up in the air and catching it.

Bottom Line: They were worth the 14-year wait.

BAND 2: BLUES TRAVELER

(John Popper, front man and, as it turns out, has-been)

Sigh.

I have never seen a hopeful audience so quickly silenced. The band, the audience's response, and the whole hour-long set were unpleasantly surprising. In fairness, Blues Traveler did not have the same arsenal of hits as their two counterparts this night. But the collection of unfamiliar songs provided the audience with a sad revelation: all B.T. songs are the same. You get a bit of a jam-session, bridged in the center by a long and elaborate harmonica solo. So formulaic were the various songs, that when the band finally played "But Anyway," off the "Kingpin" soundtrack, I don't think any one even recognized it. The whole thing had the air of a somewhat irritating intermission between the real performers.

Bottom Line: Once a year or so, you're going to hear "Hook" on a mix radio station. That will suffice.


BAND 3: LIVE

(Ed Kowalczyk: Prince Among Men)

In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that I am one of the few remaining die-hard Live fans. I own albums of theirs that you've never heard of. I'm not ashamed.

This was the fifth time I've seen the boys from York, PA on stage. Since the early 1990s they have cultivated a solid stage performance, with just the right amount of banter. They held a middle ground in between the other two bands: they played a good number of singles, but also mixed in a handful of songs that only the true fans (both of us) knew. They paid a price for this--there was a steady outflow of concert-goers during any unfamiliar song--but it was a nice nod to the faithful. In addition, when the opening lines of "I Alone" or "The Dolphin's Cry" echoed through the pavilion, butts left the ground and throngs cheered. They even brought out John Popper to play the harmonica on "Waitress," in a supreme act of charity.

One got the sense that with this band, the crowd got exactly what it paid for: a chance to go back and re-live that tender age when flannel was in, boy bands were not yet ascendant, and Throwing Copper surfed the airwaves.

Bottom Line: If you get the chance, go see Live. I promise they won't play too much stuff off the last few albums.



All in all, a night well spent. Heaven's light shone down, lightning crashed, and ... um ... Blues Traveler was there, too.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Battle of the Century (Friday WTF)

This Friday WTF brings you an epic battle decades in the making, a true clash of the titans. Assuming, of course, that a sissy blue robot and an ape wearing a necktie can really be categorized as "Titans". Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...

MEGAMAN VS. DONKEY KONG:


Now that's entertainment.

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